What. The. Fuck.
Archive for the ‘Tombstone’ Category:
Tombstone de Sade
JAMES “TOMBSTONE” TOMBE NERD SPECIALTY: Table-Top Gaming, Literature/Dick Jokes Part-time soldier and full-time love machine. Enjoys long walks on the beach and fireside readings of the Marquis de Sade. Contractually obligated to interrupt with the occasional/frequent tangent. Likes to use words like “brobdingnagian” (once he figures out how in the hell to pronounce them).
Kama Kama Kama (Sutra) Chameleon
One’s initial reading of the Kama Sutra (the real Kama Sutra, not those New Age knock-offs) is bound to disappoint. Anyone expecting to be inducted into the ancient secrets of sex gods or chapter titles that sound like the teasers on the cover of Cosmo will be sorely disappointed. Essentially this work is a shitload of lists with occasional commentary. For instance, listed within are the 64 arts that should be studied in addition to the arts of love. The usual artsy stuff is in there, but there’s also some more unusual items, such as: – “The art of making beds”
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Putting Your Money Where Your Cock Is
When I read the article about a Saudi man purchasing an 18K-gold, jewel-encrusted penis enlarger, I was very amused. First of all, the headline alone is worthy of our old college paper. Then there’s the fact that the company making it insists on calling it “a U.S. government certified medical device” (let alone that the co-owner’s last name is “Oh”). Then there’s the titillating details about it being transported by armored car and that the choice to make it out of gold is due to an allergy to stainless steel. I suppose the diamonds are meant to magnify the sorrowful
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Operation: Grab Santa’s Sack
Tombstone, being Irish, comes from a long lineage of people who try to capture magical creatures for their loot sacks. Armed with a “Naughty Elves 2011″ calendar, spiked egg nog, and duct tape, he would like to apologize in advance if Santa does not make it to your place this year.
Fun With Search Engines #1
Step 1. Go to Amazon.com. Step 2. Do a search for Metal Gear Solid (don’t put it in quotes, though). Step 3. Click on the PlayStation 2 Games filter on the left-hand side. Step 4. Check out the last entry. Is this their way of telling us that the next game in the series is going to feature a new character called Twinkle Snake? I like to think so.
Be Part of the Legacy
Being the sensitive soul that I am, when a friend wrote about the possibility of her ex-boyfriend’s spirit stopping her from over-dosing in her bathroom, I responded that if I were a ghost I would definitely watch people in the shower. I also reminded her that being older, the odds were in my favor that I would be the first to shed my mortal coil amongst our friends, ensuring me plenty of viewing opportunities. Apparently this moved many people, and they united on Facebook to form the group Showering for Tombstone. Showering for Tombstone is a non-profit organization dedicated to
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The Konami Sutra
Hey you cool kids in the know: Type the “secret” code while on the website, and you will get what I promised at the end of Tombstone’s Tightwad Tips. –Tombstone
They’ll eat your head….
So the talented Jason Paris (the guy that made our theme song) also did this parody of a classic Cranberries tune and one of our favorite video games. Check out Left 4 Dead (Zombie). It will make your day a little brighter–I promise. Much Love, Tombstone
The Word(s) According to Steve
Mucho thanks again to guest Steve Haske for being on the show. Anyone interested in checking out his work at Play Magazine should click on either of the links provided in these two sentences. Oh, and since it’s never too early to come up with a nickname for one’s fan-base, feel free to give us your best idea for what Steve should dub his followers. My vote goes for “Haske’s Lackeys”–but then again, I’m running on too much coffee and too little sleep.
DK show column #0015: Tombstone’s Tightwad Tips
It’s about that time of year when gamers’ heads fill with the delights of holiday wish-lists but their pocketbooks empty of any usable coinage to make those wishes come true.
Socially Conscious Gaming
It’s always nice to see the power of video games being used for good. Here’s a few links to games that actually have educational value and allow us to explore the complex issues surrounding world events. Darfur is Dying – Learn about life in Darfur by playing the members of a typical family struggling to survive. [Flash game] PeaceMaker – Put your diplomacy where your mouth is and try to bring peace to the Middle East. If you learn a few things in the process, that would be pretty cool, too. [Free Demo] FreeRice – Quiz yourself in various areas
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DK show Column #0010: Retro Just Crazy
Let me go on the record as saying that I don’t understand the retro game craze. Theoretically, I am the retro game pusher’s target market: an aging gamer who remembers the “Golden Age” of video gaming in the ‘70s and ‘80s. The problem is, I do remember the “Golden Age” of video gaming in the ‘70s and ‘80s. If I want to get in touch with my youth, I’ll date younger women. I expect a bit more from my video games.
DK Show Column #0005: Playing God™
Some of us rack up hundreds of hours going on side-quests, playing mini-games, or gathering resources in the quest for more power and glory in our games. Others just skip all that nonsense and go straight to playing an omniscient creator. I understand the appeal of the various “simulated life” games. At the center is the chance to look at our own culture and see how various elements fit together. We explore the relationships between science and war, education and crime, and (perhaps most importantly) personal hygiene and sex appeal.
DK Show Column #0002: Confessions of a Dungeon Master
I have been a Dungeon Master for many years, hanging out in people’s homes (sometimes their basements) until the wee hours of the morning, building tension and assisting small groups in working together to attain a rewarding ending. Despite what you may be thinking, my dungeon mastering never involved whips and chains (which were a waste of a Weapons Proficiency slot), although studded leather was a popular clothing choice among my group. I’m not talking about BDSM, of course; I’m talking about D&D.
