Switch is a professional DJ by night and the big brain behind DangerousKids.net by later that night.

JEFF “SWITCH” SORENSEN

NERD SPECIALTY: Music, Computers

Notorious leader and grand poo-bah of the Dangerous Kids. Mild-mannered computer-tech by day, disc-spinning DJ by night. Loves it when a plan comes together. The “face” of Dangerous Kids and the sole voice of reason. Poor bastard.

It’s ok, baby! You know I love you! That other podcast doesn’t mean anything to me! The truth is, I’m so proud of how far we’ve come in our relationship that I HAD to do what I did! I want to show the world what they’re missing when we share such intimate moments, so — you see — I really did it for us! I feel so much closer to you now than I ever have, and I feel like I appreciate you on a whole new level! In fact, I think you’d really like that other show, and I was thinking … you know, if it’s cool … maybe I could do some more shows? You know, just to fully appreciate how special our relationship is?

Baby? Where are you going?

“When it’s done” apparently wasn’t fast enough. Yesterday, Joe Siegler of 3D Realms confirmed through a one-line forum post that this is not a marketing stunt: the development company behind Max Payne, Wolfenstien, and the Duke Nukem franchise has closed its doors for good.

At the time of this writing, the official 3D Realms forum is straining under the weight of some understandably heavy traffic in a single thread that is eight hours old and 12 pages deep. It’s here, on page four of this thread, where Siegler, the webmaster for 3D Realms, offered a short confirmation after another poster mentioned an interview Siegler had recorded just the day before.

Kimberly Maier, a  single mother, student, and close friend of the site has recently undergone chemotherapy to fight off the remains of her cancer, and needs as much help with her bills as she can get.

DK’s own Tombstone has set up a website and an account for the Kimberly Maier Fund, and anyone interested can walk into any USBank branch or click the donate button at the bottom of this post. If you have questions feel free to e-mail any of us. Kim served with almost all of us at our newspaper in college, and as scary as this is for us, we’re determined to do what we can to help.

From the site:

“Kimberly Maier, to those of you who don’t know her, is an independent, 26-year-old dynamo. She’s like some sort of mutant superwoman. She took care of her dying mother at 14. When her son was diagnosed with autism, she educated herself about it and found creative ways to communicate with and understand him, rather than try to “cure” him or treat him like a burden. Chase is five years old now. Kim may not live to see his 10th birthday.

Kim was recently diagnosed with colon cancer as a result of a genetic disease called Lynch syndrome. She only has a 50/50 shot of living the next five years, but only if she goes through several rounds of chemotherapy. Imagine going through a procedure that repeatedly ravages your body only to have your fate determined by the flip of a coin.

But it is still a chance

A donation account has been opened to help pay for Kim’s medical expenses. Go into any U.S. Bank branch and you can donate to the Kimberly Maier Fund. Or click on the Donate button below. Even if you can’t afford to donate, give her your support. Spread the word. Below the “Donate” button is the code for the button so that you can place it on any website. Please–when was the last time you had a chance at saving a life?”

<form action=”https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr” method=”post”> <input type=”hidden” name=”cmd” value=”_s-xclick” /> <input type=”hidden” name=”hosted_button_id” value=”4602304″ /> <input type=”image” src=”https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif” name=”submit” alt=”PayPal – The safer, easier way to pay online!” /> <img alt=”" src=”https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif” width=”1″ /> </form>

This just in: Gaming Journalism has lost its damn mind.

Today, v4vg.com announced that Microsoft is looking for a few new employees to work on “a new experience in the Halo universe.” “Microsoft is currently looking out for lead Designer(s), executive producer(s), lead environment artist(s),technical art director(s), senior concept artist(s), and an animation director(s) for their upcoming unannounced Halo game,” according to the report.

No column this week. Here’s a monkey: