Violence? Boobs? Dick jokes? Furries? Saints Row: The Third has ‘em.
Note: As the title implies, I’ll be reviewing every game I get my hands on. I don’t care if the game came out in 1977; if I’m playing it, I’m reviewing it.
Available On: PC, Xbox 360, Playstation 3
Release Date: November 17, 2011
System Played On: Playstation 3
The Saints Row franchise, developed by Volition, Inc. and published by THQ, are games that I know should hate but enjoy playing anyway. These are the best Grand Theft Auto clones on the market, and one could make a very good argument that they are more fun to play than most of the Grand Theft Auto series. I prefer the Grand Theft Auto series for various reasons, but I’ll save that for a later post. Anyway, I reserved this game a couple of months ago and picked it up on the day it was released. When the game was first announced last year, and I read the preview of it in Game Informer I was ecstatic. The game looked amazing and I couldn’t wait for it to come out. The months went by and more and more information about Saints Row: The Third was revealed so I decided to pre-order it. Then, I started reading hands-on previews and couldn’t help but think that I’ve made a grave mistake. It looked like Volition, Inc. did too much with the game, so much so that it had become a self-parody and would be painful to play. Regardless, I tried to remain optimistic and picked up the game anyway. When I popped it into my PS3 and played through the intro I felt that my initial fears were correct – the developers went way too far. When the game actually started, however, and I could freely roam around Steelport and participate in activities and story missions I quickly changed my mind. Here’s the skinny:
Story
Where to begin? Well, apparently the game takes places a few years after the events in Saints Row 2 (spoiler). The 3rd Street Saints are wildly popular with the city (except for the politicians) and have their own clothing line, energy drinks, and cars. However, just when things were looking good for the Saints a group called The Syndicate shows up to destroy the Saints and takeover the city. It’s up to the gamer to take out the three factions of The Syndicate and take back Steelport. There’s drama between some of the characters, some plot twists and humorous moments but other than that the story is fairly straight-forward. The writing is probably the worst aspect of the game, but it moves the story along nicely and isn’t so bad that it effects the feel of the game.
The main character in the game's introductory stage during a bank robbery gone wrong. Yes, the game is this insane right from the start.
Graphics
Though a bit dated, the visuals in Saints Row: The Third are colorful, animated and reflect the excessive, pop-culture driven themes of the game. The characters look like they walked out of a comic book and, for the most part, move around smoothly albeit in an unrealistic manner, especially if you make your character to be particularly top-heavy. Ah, jiggle physics. I digress. Anyway, the facial expressions are fairly simple and cartoonish but let’s face it – Volition wasn’t going for stark realism here. All-in-all, the graphics compliment the gameplay nicely and serve as proof that you don’t need a high-powered physics engine and cinema-quality lighting to make a great game.
Bullets and explosions. What's not to love?
Controls
The controls aren’t very complicated, and any gamer that has played one of the previous Saints Row installments, or any other third-person action game, will pick them up quickly. My only complaint is the rotary weapon-select menu, which at times fails to properly select the weapon you want to use. This can be a pain in heavy fire situations, especially when you have to jump out of a vehicle and the game’s script changes the weapon automatically. The driving mechanics are fairly smooth, but tend to get frustrating when driving larger vehicles that can’t turn well, or suped-up vehicles that have sensitive steering controls.
Gameplay
Chaotic. Ridiculous. Excessive. Over-the-top. Messy. Insane. A shit-load of fun. Saints Row: The Third is everything gamers should expect from a Saints Row game and then some. All of the great activities from the previous games are there (Insurance Fraud, Heli Assault, Trafficking) with some additional activities that add even more hijinks. One awesome new activity puts the gamer into a game show called “Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax” where the object is to dodge traps and shoot mascots as quickly as possible. The story missions are just as fun, with stunts and action so outrageous one might think that John Woo and Michael Bay developed this game after a week-long crystal meth binge. To make things even more addicting, sim and RPG elements have been added to the game with the ability to purchase property and upgrades to your character and weapons.
Furries err, sorry, "mascots" vs. cops. What could possibly go wrong?
Sound
Most everything about the sound in Saints Row: The Third is OK. Not great, just OK. The voice-acting is decent, but can be out of synch at times mainly due to the weak face animations. The music in the game, most of which is heard via radio stations, is pretty much the music you’d expect from a game such as this – pop, hip-hop, metal, punk, classical and even a radio station that features music from Adult Swim programs. I’ve always been disappointed with the in-game radio stations in the Saints Row series, and the newest in the franchise isn’t any better. I mean, they’re not awful and the song choices work great with the gameplay, I guess I’m just used to the glory that is, and always will be, the radio stations found in the Grand Theft Auto series. Sorry, Saints Row: No Lazlow, no dice.
Replay Value
Saints Row: The Third has a moderately high replay value. Many of the activities found in the game are worth playing multiple times, and the story missions are just so ridiculous that they’re worth a second look – especially if you decide to overhaul your character’s appearance, such as creating a transsexual zombie furry. There’s also decisions the player has to make that effect the game’s story and effect which of the two endings the gamer will witness. With all of the exploration, customization, activities, Easter eggs, challenges, co-op missions and achievements/trophies Saints Row: The Third offers, it could easily provide 20+ hours of entertainment even after beating the main story missions. The best part? Volition is already working on Saints Row 4.
Yes, you can fly these. Yes, they are awesome.
Why the Internet Will Bitch About This Game
Day 1 DLC. An online pass that is required to unlock co-op mode (plus a free copy of Saints Row 2), which comes at no extra cost if the game is purchased new but gamers that bought the game used and have an invalid code will have to pay extra to access co-op mode (I’ll even admit that’s a bit too much). The paper-thin plot and two-dimensional characters. The dated graphics. Stupid dialogue. Oh, who am I kidding? The Internet will only bitch about the DLC and online pass.
Why I’ll Bitch About This Game
One of the major elements of the Saints Row series is taking over gang territory, and Saints Row: The Third is no different. What this entails is finding gang strongholds, killing everyone in them and claiming the stronghold for The Saints. This can be fun, but grows tedious given the amount of strongholds in each area of the city. Furthermore, these missions can be extremely frustrating given how fast the rival gang retaliates with specialist gang members (snipers in helicopters, roided-out brutes, etc.) which can lead to multiple deaths if you’re not quick about killing the required gang members in the stronghold. Even after clearing out the stronghold, the rival gang is still chasing after you and won’t stop until you either outrun them (which can take awhile) or hide in one of your safehouses or other purchased properties. The friendly A.I. is also awful. Sure, you can recruit a posse to help you out with some activities or missions but most of the time they just wind up dying. They can serve as a nice distraction when under heavy fire, but they’re awful shots and it’s up to you to kill off most of the enemies. Also, they’re horrible drivers and it’s not uncommon for them to fail a mission for you when they’re at the wheel.
Buy It, Rent It or Forget It
Buy it. If crazy action, vulgarity, customization and open-world games are your bag than this game should be in your collection along with the rest of the Saints Row games. Saints Row: The Third is well designed, addicting, fun and delivers everything THQ and Volition promoted.
Prof. Genki's Man-a-Pault was available as a pre-order bonus. Guess what it does?
Next time on Franchise Rants and Ravings: Final Fantasy XI, the first MMORPG in the Final Fantasy series. I’ve been playing it daily for almost 3 months now, so I’ll have plenty to bitch about.
